The world has a long history of telling girls to be ‘kind’. On the surface, it sounds harmless, even noble. Who wouldn’t want a world where people treat each other with respect, empathy and compassion? But that’s not what girls are actually being taught. For generations, kindness has been used as code for something else entirely: be quiet, smooth things over, don’t make a fuss, put everyone else first. It’s the velvet glove wrapped around a very old expectation – that girls s

The new year arrives with equal parts excitement and pressure. For tween girls (aged 8 to 12), January can be a tricky mix of new school terms, fresh expectations and a lot of talk about goals. Even girls who usually seem steady can feel wobbly as routines restart and comparisons creep in. At this age self-esteem is naturally more fragile. Girls become more aware of what others think, and the pressure to be clever, sporty, popular or socially switched on can build fast. The a

We hear it all the time: “Other girls have problems, but my daughter’s fine”. She’s confident, fearless, bold. As a parent, I hear you – my daughter is fearless too. But that’s exactly why I’m doing everything I can to keep it that way. Because confidence isn’t permanent, it’s a muscle – and like any muscle, it needs regular use, training and reinforcement, or it starts to weaken. Bit by bit, the world teaches girls to soften, smooth over and shrink themselves, and even the m