The Myths Behind Confidence – And How Fearless Girls Club Is Changing the Story

When it comes to raising confident girls, there’s no shortage of advice out there. But much of it is based on ideas that don’t quite hold up in real life. At Fearless Girls Club, we spend a lot of time listening to girls and working with them – and we’ve found that the path to confidence isn’t always what the books or quick-fix tips suggest.

Myth 1: Being confident means being loud and annoying

Confidence often gets confused with extroversion or even arrogance, especially in girls (but that’s a topic for a whole other blog!). In reality, for most girls, confidence looks like quietly holding their ground, trying something new despite feeling nervous or voicing a thoughtful idea even if it’s not the popular opinion. It’s about the certainty of self that means girls feel more able to form and express opinions that are true to themselves, and to make good choices. We help girls understand that their own style of confidence is valid – and that they don’t have to change their personality to become something else.

Myth 2: Confidence is something you’re born with

Many people believe girls either ‘have it’ or they don’t. In reality, confidence is more like a muscle – it grows through use, challenge and learning. Girls might feel sure of themselves in one area (say, art) but hesitant in another (perhaps speaking up in class). Our club creates opportunities for girls to try new things in a safe, supportive space, building that muscle bit by bit.

Myth 3: Confidence comes from constant reassurance

It’s tempting to think that if we keep telling girls they’re amazing, they’ll believe it. But when reassurance is the only fuel, confidence can wobble the moment they face criticism or uncertainty. Instead, we help girls build self-belief that comes from their own experiences – solving problems, making decisions and learning from mistakes. That way, their confidence isn’t dependent on someone else’s approval.

Myth 4: Confidence can be ‘achieved’ and then stays forever

Even the most self-assured adults have regular moments of doubt! Confidence isn’t a permanent state – it rises and dips depending on what’s happening in life. We show girls tools for managing those dips: how to reframe unhelpful thoughts, remember past successes and take action even when they feel unsure.

At Fearless Girls Club, our approach is about helping girls understand themselves, trust their abilities and navigate challenges with resilience. Through activities, conversations and creative projects, we give them a toolkit they can carry into their teenage years and beyond. We believe confidence is about knowing you can face the moment – whatever it brings.